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DAMN! I am A Procrastinator.

A Deadliner isn't a popular word again for what I'm gonna tell you this time. I prefer A Procrastinator. I hope that it will get the feelings of my unsoimportantlycomplicated situation.

It's been a while since my last writing, no?
I saw myself kinda busy doing lots of things that sort of necessary for my future. 
What is it if u asked me?
Try to get a company or some rich guys to have me as his/her employee and earn some money.
I couldn't help to think that now I'm a big girl that should stand alone in many aspects. Damn great! And for the important thing that I have to search for is MONEY! I really hate this situation. But it is something that i have to give effort to accomplish my development stage. I'm 23 years old, living apart from parents, having a guy that totally fallin' for me *plak!*, doing some jobs that i love to do so, but still can't afford my life-finances by myself. This thing is really get me into the blue. *halah!*
With all the task I should do these days, I'm being a procrastinator now!
Damn Great Sh*t!


Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time.Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder. Traditionally, procrastination has been associated with perfectionism, a tendency to negatively evaluate outcomes and one's own performance, intense fear and avoidance of evaluation of one's abilities by others, heightened social self-consciousness and anxiety, recurrent low mood, and "workaholism". According to Robert B. Slaney adaptive perfectionists (when perfectionism is egosyntonic) were less likely to procrastinate than non-perfectionists, while maladaptive perfectionists (people who saw their perfectionism as a problem; i.e., when perfectionism is egodystonic) had high levels of procrastination (and also of anxiety).
 (Source : Wikipedia. I'm too lazy to open my senior last assignment with this topic!)

I realize the time I'm being one of the procrastinator. I start to be such a procrastinator if I have works to do in the same time, in the same deadline. Weird, no? This situation comes up with feelings such as 'I can do all things done in time! So, let's take a break first!' It's very different when I get only one job to do. The time I used to procrastinate isn't longer as previous situation.
As for this month, I'll try to think that it is the most important month of this year, may be my life. But still, sometimes I feel that this isn't right at all! But when I think about it again and again, what I'm trying to do this month is things that gonna work out for my future. At least, for my life few months again. It's still about money problem I told earlier and how to survive as a real-adult.
Just remember, that I, once, never want to be a grown-up.

As this month started, I have minor problems such as I need new shoes, new comic books to collect, wheat-meal snacks for my diet, monthly toiletries stuffs and my monthly payment room. These stuffs never been a problem if I don't have these plans to do this month. What so important thing is, applying jobs use money too! These civil-servant-occupation-things need an extra budget to deal with! And those minor problems should put away a little-while when I try to fix the budget for the application. This starts to be a boring story about my recently-miserable-life. If you are boring with it, please care to stop reading. If not, thanks for following my arbitrariness.

Now on, I remember that I don't want to talk about my recently-miserable-life. I want to talk about jobs that have been procrastinating by me and what I've been doing in the 'leisure' time.
This months tasks :

  • Finishing 10 design of buckle for muslimah scarf with some youth, young, womanly taste. And I've been searching for inspiration everywhere everyplace I was going to.
  • Applying to some companies and some government-ministry to find some cash. I have to look closely with what they offer, qualifications that I'm in, the result of the administration selections, the writing test, and so on, and so on. I'll stop here. I'm kinda exhausted talking about this.
  • Finishing my colleague research in clinic where I work to. So far, I did 19 patients from the target of 60. Huuufftt...long way to go! 
  • Another research from my boss-docter to make standardize about cognitive-memory-test-score from people in Indonesia. *Yeah, sure it lots to do!* Luckily, I'm not gonna do this research this month.
  • Last job came to me is the short-story-project from my new friends in Reading Light's Writers Circle. I got 'C'. Deadline on 23rd of October. I'm working on the plot story now. Hmmm... Remembered me to write about these guys in The Circle, okay?


That's all for this month I guess.

Procrastinating behaviors I did recently :

  • Watched movies. [Kick-Ass, Before Sunrise, Letters To Juliet, Valentine's Day, Youth to Revolt, Bangkok Traffic Love Story.] I'll write the review later, okay? Remind me of that!
  • Did some house-chores that could help be done later.
  • Sleep late almost every night and wake early to pray and get in to my blanket again after that and sleep till the time I got to go to work.
Okaaayyy...
Enough already.
I will end this writing and try to focus on my drawings first for tonight. Maybe I'll work on my story tomorrow night. Gosh! It feels like 24 hours is not enough, but actually it's enough. It's just me that do this procrastinating-things. Yes it is! It's my damn confession.
:-P

Time to work and say 'Later'.
Enjoy your night.
Read Happily All!
:-)

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